Arthur Fleischmann with Carly Fleischmann, authors
A Touchtone Book, Published by Simon & Schuster, Biography, Mar. 27, 2012
Suitable for: Parents of Autistic Children, Young Adults, Educators
Themes: Parenting an Autistic Child, Nonverbal, Breakthroughs, Courage, Hope
Opening: “A news reporter once asked me to describe our a-ha moment with Carly. He wanted to understand that blinding flash of insight we had about our daughter. I thought for a moment before replying. There never has been a moment like that. Carly has always just been Carly.”
Carly and her fraternal twin sister, Taryn, were born in 1995. From the beginning they were very different babies. As early as 10 months, Arthur and his wife, Tammy, noticed Carly was showing signs of delays in her gross motor skills, language, auditory attention and socialization. By age two, she was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition called apraxia which prevented Carly from speaking. Doctors predicted minimal intellectual development. Her parents refused to give up in their attempts to reach Carly. Their lives were filled with therapists who worked with her at home and at school. In fact their entire family life, which included Taryn and an older brother, Matthew, revolved around caring for Carly.
Arthur Fleischmann, bares his soul as he writes a very raw and honest book about life with Carly. The sleepless nights, explosive outbursts, chaos, exhaustion, not to mention the huge financial debt they incurred paying for special ABA treatment with two therapists, a nanny, and special equipment. They were constant advocates, fighting teachers, principals and school boards to make sure Carly received important ABA treatment and attended special schools. Her ABA therapists saw Carly’s intelligence and worked diligently with Carly using many methods to draw her out.
Hope arrived at age 10, when Carly reached over to the computer and with her index finger typed three words “Help Teeth Hurt.” Carly was very smart, and this was the beginning of unlocking the door so Carly could find her voice. It didn’t happen over night. In fact it took many turbulent years filled with meltdowns, tearing off clothing at night, head banging, and long periods of silence when she’d refuse to type her feeling or interact with her therapists and family. A significant breakthrough occurred when Carly finally typed to her therapist “Tell Mom and Dad to stop yelling at me.” “At night when I yell and jump around. It’s not fun for me. My legs and arms tingle and I can’t make them stop. I have to move or it gets worse. I am hitting myself to stop this feeling.” She was finally communicating what was going on inside of her and doctors could treat her symptoms that were painful with medication and help reduce meltdowns. Carly began to calm down and over time and she began to share more of her world in Carly’s voice. Her therapists and family discovered a very intelligent, gifted, funny and witty young woman who wanted to do normal activities like her brother and sister. She wanted to go shopping with her mom and to take long walks with her dad.
Epilogue: There is a special 20-page Epilogue at the end of the book that is written by Carly, who is now 17 years old. It is funny, insightful and inspiring. You learn why she calls her voice, her “inner voice.” You discover that she was talking all the time as a young child, but inside of her head. One day, she realized that no one was hearing her. She talks about information and sensory overload. She describes her moment of realization that she was different from Taryn and Matthew. She began to realize on her own that “it wasn’t that I didn’t understand the words, it was that my brain couldn’t focus directly on the conversation.” This happened when Carly was bombarded with too many noises, bright lights, and smells, which would distract her and put her on sensory overload. Left to her own resources, Carly taught herself what she calls “audio filtering,” which helped her sort things out. It is a very hard thing to learn, but Carly did it on her own. This is just a peek at what this inspiring young woman has done for herself, autistic children, parents and the medical and educational communities. Carly has found her voice and has become advocate helping people understand autism! You can follow Carly Fleischmann on Facebook (over 32,100 followers) and Twitter.