You Weren’t with Me
Chandra Ghosh Ippen, Author
Erich Ippen Jr., Illustrator
Piplo Productions, Fiction, Feb. 12, 2019
Suitable for Ages: 3-7
Themes: Separation, Fear, Understanding, Love, Healing
Book Synopsis:
Little Rabbit and Big Rabbit are together after a difficult separation, but even though they missed each other, Little Rabbit is not ready to cuddle up and receive Big Rabbit’s love. Little Rabbit needs Big Rabbit to understand what it felt like when they were apart. “Sometimes I am very mad. I don’t understand why you weren’t with me,” says Little Rabbit. “I worry you will go away again.” Big Rabbit listens carefully and helps Little Rabbit to feel understood and loved. This story was designed to help parents and children talk about difficult separations, reconnect, and find their way back to each other.
What I like about this book:
Chandra Ghosh Ippen’s timely book addresses a wide variety of painful situations in which a child is separated from a parent: divorce, military deployments, parental incarcerations, parental drug abuse and immigration-related separations. Indeed it is a treasure! We need more stories like this to help jump-start the important conversations about challenging separations between children and parents. Only then can healing begin.
The animals characters make this book a perfect choice in dealing with tough issues. It isn’t a happy homecoming story, as both Little Rabbit and Big Rabbit have to learn to deal with their feelings and get use to each other. Little Rabbit is angry that Big Rabbit left, worries he/she may leave again and doesn’t trust it won’t happen again. The author gives Little Rabbit time to share his concerns before Big Rabbit responds and they find a way to reconnect.
Ippen’s illustrations are rendered in soft pastels and are priceless. The text is minimal with the illustrations carrying much of the story. There is an occasional burst of color that signals the feelings being shared. I especially like the physical distance and space between the rabbits throughout the story. Little Rabbit needs time and space until trust is established again. Slowly they move closer to one another. And the facial expressions are spot on for the feelings being communicated. Great collaboration between the author and illustrator.
Resource: This book is a resource due to the way it is written. It will encourage many important discussions. I think it would be fun to take some of the expressive illustrations and have children fill in their own dialogue.
Chandra Ghosh Ippen combines her love of story and cute creatures with her training in clinical psychology. She is the author of Once I Was Very Very Scared. She has also co-authored over 20 publications related to trauma and diversity-informed practice and has over 10 years of experience conducting training nationally and Internationally.
Erich Ippen Jr. was always interested as a boy to drawing cartoons and character designs. In his professional career, he has created visual effects for movies like Rango, Harry Potter, The Avengers, Star Wars and many other films. He is also a singer, songwriter, music producer and founding member of the local San Francisco band, District 8.
Every Friday, authors and KidLit bloggers post a favorite picture book. To see a complete listing of all the Perfect Picture Books (PPB) with resources, please visit author Susanna Leonard Hill’s website.
*Review copy provided by the author.
I love this book and found it useful within our own family. It is “vague” enough that a child can infuse it with the elements of his own story/struggles. Destined to become a classic.
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I am so pleased you enjoyed this book. I love that so many children will be able to relate to this story of separation!
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Sadly, a very timely book. Thanks for reviewing it, Pat!
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It really is a gem!
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Such a timely and necessary book! I’ll be on the lookout for this – it’s not in our library system, yet…
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It is an excellent book to have on hand and recommend to others in need of its message.
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What a great idea for a book.
And that cover is heartbreaking!
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It is a touching cover!
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Great idea. Those are important and difficult conversations. I am waiting for the doggie version to come out. Sometimes, Mom actually leaves the house WITHOUT ME! #notcool
Love and licks,
Cupcake
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It is an important story. But, as usual, Cupcake, you make me chuckle!
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I filled out a form to see if my library can purchase a copy. I love that the story is told with bunnies–such a kid-friendly animal to help with separation issues.
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Animals certainly make tough topics easier for discussion! Hope you find a copy!
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Sounds like a very creative way to address this painful situation and the resulting emotions. Love your analysis of how the illustrations show the changing relationship between the bunnies and the use of color to signal the sharing of feelings. I’ll put this one on my TBR pile. Thanks for the rec!
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It is an excellent story and one to know about in case you know a family in need.
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Very interesting book. Seems like it would pair nicely with THE RABBIT LISTENED. Thanks for a great review of it. I look forward to reading it.
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Thanks! Will check out the book you suggested!
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This is am.important book for school psychologist and social workers and school nurses. Thanks!
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I agree! I gave my copy to a child psychiatrist who works with military families.
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Sounds like a wonderful book. And so needed today. I recommended it to my local library.
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I am sure the author will appreciate your referral!
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This sounds wonderful and is definitely filling a need. The San Francisco Public Library doesn’t have this one. I’ll be recommending it. Thanks!
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I am sure the author will be happy with your library referral! I did the same thing.
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I think you’re right, Patricia. We do need many more books about difficult situations such as these. If children and adults have a stimulus to initiate the hard discussions, they don’t become so painful any more.
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This one is beautifully written and illustrated making discussions easy!
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